FAT IS DESTROYING AMERICA, GUYS.


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Guys, listen, since fat people are always extra-hot, they don't need mittens, and since there's an OBESITY EPIDEMIC BOOGABOOGA!! going on, the mitten industry is gonna fail ANY MINUTE NOW.


That is seriously the content of that article, folks. Their argument is that fat people are always hot(It's true for me, but that's partly because of genetics, and partly because I live in ARIZONA), which is why people aren't buying as many mittens as they used to.

First of all, no, fat people are NOT all warmer on average. We run the gamut like any smaller sized person, and some of us are, in fact, often very cold. The fact that mittens are hardly a fashion staple might be what's affecting their sales, on top of the fact that things don't seem to be as cold as they used to be, might be what's causing the problem.

Second of all, has blaming fat for everything really become so prevalent that even low mittens sales needs to incorporate the same rhetoric? Doesn't this sort of stand out as ridiculous, that they're honestly BLAMING FAT PEOPLE for MITTENS? I've known for a long time that people are blaming fat people for everything from health insurance costs to global warming, and all sorts of other ridiculous claims in between, but now they're pinning LOW MITTENS SALES on us.

Folks, this crosses into a whole new level of stupid for fat-shaming -- WHICH WAS ALREADY STUPID IN THE FIRST PLACE.